I believe it was Esquire magazine many years ago that began handing out “Dubious Achievement Awards” at the end of the year for achievements that were, well, dubious that year.
My thinking is: “Why wait until the end of the year?”
So I’ve put together some awards based on recent events related to motorcycling. While they’re not all dubious achievements, they all are interesting in some quirky way.
1. What was the chapel thinking when it scheduled these weddings? Jury selection began in Las Vegas, Nev., on July 16 in the trial of eight of 13 men who had been charged with felonies and misdemeanors following a wedding chapel brawl. Apparently Hell’s Angels members were leaving a wedding at the chapel while members of the rival Mongols were arriving for the next wedding.
2. I wish I were that guy. Don Arndt of Spokane, Wash., had his 1972 Honda XL250 stolen from his home on Nov. 21, 1975. Police recovered it and returned it to him on July 27, 2012.
3. Sheep are dangerous for your bike. This comes out of England: A sheep and motorcycle collided, killing the sheep, injuring the motorcyclist, and causing the bike to catch on fire, totally destroying it. It’s unknown whether the motorcycle hit the sheep, or the sheep hit the motorcycle.
4. Not the sharpest knives in the drawer. In August, police stopped a car in Columbus, Ky., and ended up arresting the three occupants for having a stolen motorcycle in the trunk, among other charges. Why did police stop them? The driver was doing 110 mph in a 65 mph zone, while underage drinking.
5. Here’s some advice: get some training. A man reportedly walked into a West Lubbock, Texas, motorcycle dealership, bought a bike, hopped on and immediately crashed into several parked cars in the dealership parking lot. Not only did he destroy his new motorcycle, which burst into flames, but the fire caused an estimated $120,000 damage.
6. They take motorcycle theft very seriously in Africa. The Associated Press reported on Aug. 9 that a man accused of motorcycle theft in the country of Mali in Africa had his hand chopped off.
7. You think you’ve heard it all… Canadian police arrested a motorcyclist for distracted driving for texting on his cellphone while riding his Suzuki GSX1300R Hayabusa.
8. You meet the nicest people… Tattoo artists at the massive motorcycle rally in Sturgis, S.D., in August report business was down this year. Way down. The Associated Press quoted one of them as saying: “I would never do a tattoo convention in Sturgis [again]. But I’ve never met more interesting people than I have this week.”